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lackadaisicalnereidit's not the bullet that kills you; it's the hole | teen wolf | allison argent | ~250 words | spoilers for 3x23 | note: I am sorry. The world is a cruel cruel place.
Somewhere near, Lydia is probably screaming
Allison.
(You cannot hear her.)
This is what will happen:
you will die. (Or: You are dying. Verb tenses mean less with a sword in your chest.)
You are a human among wolves and they outasted you. You should have expected that.
(You expected that.)
You wanted to protect them and you did, and you thought that it would kill you one day and it did.
Being right is of no use sometimes, you think.
(You do not want to think of your Dad. You hope he will go on. You hope he will be proud.)
(Scott will blame himself. You loved the boy, you did, but you fear he will take too much out of this,
make it his fault somehow, his responsibility somehow, and you hope he doesn't. He doesn't get to take what was yours.
This death was yours and yours alone. You loved the boy first, and he grew into a man,
and you hope he doesn't stop growing and you want him to grow up enough to learn not everything is his fault.)
(Lydia will cry the most, you know. You will want to kiss her hair and tell her it is not her fault,
because you wanted to come. She could have left a neon sign telling you not to, and you would have.
We protect those who cannot protect themselves.
You thought of the code, and you followed the code. It could not have gone any other way.
You will not be there to tell her any of these things.)
(You will miss them all. You hope someone will protect them.)
Oh, you exhale. Oh.
This is what happened:
you died.
Somewhere near, Lydia is screaming
Allison.
Somewhere near, Lydia is probably screaming
Allison.
(You cannot hear her.)
This is what will happen:
you will die. (Or: You are dying. Verb tenses mean less with a sword in your chest.)
You are a human among wolves and they outasted you. You should have expected that.
(You expected that.)
You wanted to protect them and you did, and you thought that it would kill you one day and it did.
Being right is of no use sometimes, you think.
(You do not want to think of your Dad. You hope he will go on. You hope he will be proud.)
(Scott will blame himself. You loved the boy, you did, but you fear he will take too much out of this,
make it his fault somehow, his responsibility somehow, and you hope he doesn't. He doesn't get to take what was yours.
This death was yours and yours alone. You loved the boy first, and he grew into a man,
and you hope he doesn't stop growing and you want him to grow up enough to learn not everything is his fault.)
(Lydia will cry the most, you know. You will want to kiss her hair and tell her it is not her fault,
because you wanted to come. She could have left a neon sign telling you not to, and you would have.
We protect those who cannot protect themselves.
You thought of the code, and you followed the code. It could not have gone any other way.
You will not be there to tell her any of these things.)
(You will miss them all. You hope someone will protect them.)
Oh, you exhale. Oh.
This is what happened:
you died.
Somewhere near, Lydia is screaming
Allison.
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Date: 2014-03-18 10:43 pm (UTC)you will die. (Or: You are dying. Verb tenses mean less with a sword in your chest.)
I still can't think about what happened, about the way it happened, without finding myself close to tears.
This is freaking beautiful. And packs such a punch in so few words. I love super short things, I think that they have the potential to be extrememly powerful. This is most definitely that.
ALLISON, MY BB.
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Date: 2014-03-19 01:45 am (UTC)Thank you, you are so very kind ♥
What's killing me now is thinking about Lydia. Lydia who knew this was going to happen. Lydia who thinks she could have, should have somehow stopped this. Lydia who didn't get to see her one last time, because she was in the building and she could only feel her best friend's death and scream. Lydia, walking towards the corpse of her best friend. Chris calling Lydia to help him pick what dress to bury Allison in. Lydia having to pick a dress to bury her best friend in. Lydia having to pick her own outfit for her best friend's funeral.
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Date: 2014-03-19 10:15 am (UTC)*sobbing*
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Date: 2014-03-19 12:27 am (UTC)Like i started crying at the Scott section, but then Lydia and I am a wreck.
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Date: 2014-03-19 01:47 am (UTC)It's a huuuge compliment to hear you say you cried ♥ I almost cried over the Lydia section :(
MY POOR BABIES, ALL OF THEM :(